In a move that shocked precisely no one, the former President has pointed a golden finger of blame squarely at the Democratic Party following a historic Wall Street bloodbath. Donald Trump took to his favorite social media pulpit, Truth Social, to deliver a scathing, all-caps indictment, claiming the Democrats’ sweeping midterm victories directly caused Thursday’s market plunge—one of the worst days in history, according to his own furious pronouncement. Forget geopolitical tensions or over-extended tech valuations; in Trump’s world, the only catalyst needed for financial carnage is a ‘D’ next to a candidate’s name.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average plummeted a stomach-churning 1,833 points, while the Nasdaq Composite suffered its most brutal beating since April 2025, plummeting over 5%. The S&P 500 didn’t escape the massacre either. Trump lamented the toll on Main Street, warning that the value of your precious 401(k) has likely taken a nosedive alongside the fortunes of billionaire tech bros. “Such a sad thing to watch!” he wrote, in a rare moment of financial empathy for the common man, before pivoting to his trademark brand of boosterism: “We will soon, one way or the other, be BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE.”

But behind the political theater, whispers on the trading floor tell a more nuanced—and arguably more scandalous—tale. Insiders suggest the real panic stemmed from the specter of aggressive new regulations looming over the darling of Wall Street: artificial intelligence. With Democrats now poised to control both chambers of Congress, the unchecked, wild-west spending and data-center boom fueling the AI gold rush could face serious scrutiny. Tech titans like Nvidia got absolutely mauled, their shares shedding value faster than a politician’s promise.

Market analysts, those bespectacled soothsayers of sell-offs, cautiously concur that the election results were the ‘obvious catalyst.’ It seems the mere prospect of oversight was enough to send the algorithms into a frenzy. The timing was deliciously ironic: this carnage wiped out all the gains from a rally just the day before, proving that in today’s market, sentiment is more volatile than a crypto influencer’s credibility. The message from the marble halls of finance is clear: the party of fiscal responsibility might just be the ultimate buzzkill for Silicon Valley’s endless champagne fountain.