The cosmic jester of Hollywood chaos has, against all odds, settled down. In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has followed his rollercoaster romantic history, Jim Carrey—yes, the ‘Yes Man’ himself—has reportedly exchanged vows with his mysterious, longtime girlfriend, Min Ah, in a clandestine Los Angeles ceremony so private, even the paparazzi’s finest telephoto lenses were left foggy with confusion.

Sources whisper the event was so intimate, the guest list likely consisted of Carrey’s signature elastic grin and whatever philosophical musings were floating through his mind that day. This third-time’s-the-charm matrimony comes a mere seven months after the couple made their très chic, eyebrow-raising debut at the César Awards in Paris. There, a noticeably… refined-looking Carrey, 64, accepted an honorary award while Min Ah sat beside his daughter, Jane, and grandson, Jackson, silently sparking a thousand gossip-column theories about her identity.

The whispers began back in February 2022, when the pair were first spotted leaving a charity gig looking suspiciously cozy. Since then, they’ve mastered the art of the low-profile romance, a stark contrast to Carrey’s previous headline-grabbing escapades. Let’s rewind the tape of heartbreak, shall we? His first marriage to Melissa Womer ended in ‘95. Then came the infamous, blink-and-you-missed-it union with ‘Dumb and Dumber’ co-star Lauren Holly, a flame that burned out in under a year. Who could forget the Jenny McCarthy era? A five-year spectacle that defined mid-2000s Hollywood coupling. And just when we thought he’d found a match in ‘Kidding’ co-star Ginger Gonzaga… poof! Gone by 2019.

And let’s not even start on the ‘clone’ conspiracy theories that erupted online after his Paris appearance, where his changed visage had amateur sleuths claiming a doppelgänger had accepted the award. His rep was forced to swat down the rumors, insisting it was, in fact, the real, philosophically-inclined Carrey.

So, what does this mean for our beloved agent of chaos? Has the man who once declared himself ‘beyond marriage’ finally been tamed? Or is this just another chapter in the bizarre, beautiful saga of Jim Carrey—a man who treats life itself as one long, unpredictable performance art piece? Only time, and perhaps his next surrealist painting, will tell. For now, we raise a glass (of metaphorical, spiritually-enlightened water) to the happy couple. May their marriage last longer than a Hollywood trend.