The knives are out, and we’re not just talking about the service station toilet brawl that left a fan-favorite Cold War-era spook bleeding out on the grimy floor. In a shocking twist that has left viewers reeling, ‘Slow Horses’ has mercilessly killed off the beloved, deadpan tech wizard JK Coe, played by Tom Brooke. And the actor himself is confessing he’s an emotional wreck!

The galloping sixth season of Apple TV’s prestige spy drama promised twists, but no one was ready for the gut-punch of episode four, which culminated in Coe’s brutal stabbing death. While book purists saw it coming, the small-screen execution was a masterclass in sudden, senseless violence. But the real drama is unfolding off-screen, where Brooke is still nursing his wounds.

Speaking with a tremor of genuine heartbreak, the 46-year-old actor admitted to Town & Country that he thought he’d made peace with his three-season contract and the inevitable end. That was until he picked up the next Slough House novel at an airport. “I wouldn’t want to say I burst into tears,” Brooke confessed, before essentially confirming he did exactly that. “I was like, ‘I can’t read this. I cannot engage with this world again because I’m not part of it.’ And then I was like, ‘Oh, maybe I’m not alright about it.’” Can you blame him? One minute you’re part of the coolest, most dysfunctional spy ring on television, the next you’re scrolling through the in-flight entertainment, utterly irrelevant.

Sources whisper that Brooke was so attached to Coe’s uniquely mundane demise—a bizarre chat about mortgages with his killer—that he fought to keep the scene’s soul-crushing banality intact. He reportedly went straight to the showrunner, demanding the death not be glamorized. Talk about method! The actor was so committed to his character’s absurd, logical end that he battled for the right to die talking about loan approvals. That’s dedication, or perhaps a cry for help.

This bloodbath arrives amidst the show’s own behind-the-scenes turmoil, marking the first season without longtime showrunner Will Smith. All eyes are also on co-star Jack Lowden, the current frontrunner to be the next James Bond, who must now navigate a cast suddenly minus one of its secret weapons. Could Coe’s shocking departure be a calculated power play, clearing the deck for a new era? Or simply the ruthless calculus of television, where even your favorite characters are just collateral damage in the ratings war?

While Brooke nurses his fictional—and very real—grief, fans are left to wonder: who’s next on the chopping block in the cutthroat world of Slough House? One thing’s for certain: in this game of spies, no one is safe, and the tears are definitely real.